haha i thought it was way longer since i last posted.
turns out its only been a week =)
sooo.. last few days of holidays were pretty damn fustratingg.
i was waiting.. anticipating the moment we arrived at school
screaming with happiness that we could go back to seeing all
our friends everyday of the week. [cept.. saturday and sunday =D]
but.. i was also missing someone hahaha.
this sounds so.. corny xD
hahahaha.
anywayyyyy.
yeahh
its the third day of school
and im pretty happy with what i've been doing at school in term 3 =)
its sarted out pretty awesomee.
im kinda worried bout my commerce class though.
im in year 9 and im doing a yer 10 course... and so far, i have
no idea who's in that class.
but.. i can make friends =)
thursdays are always fun =)
and i guess i was lucky that we got two more weeks of team sports
hahaha. i find it esp. fun =) some people know why xD
ahahhaa.
NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE KNOW 0-O
unless some meany poo has spread the news.
hahaha. but yeahh.
LAPTOPS IN WEEK 3 =D
im soooo excitedd =)
hahaha they're free!
i mean, they're obviously not the best, but.. free.
freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
hahaha. and photoshop and stuff as well.
i have to get used to using photoshop.
hmm.
well.
i cbs to write anymoreeeeeeeee.
blaaaaaa. =)
hahaha. weeeoowwww..
Life is good =)
God is good =D
xo.
30.7.09
23.7.09
23.7.09
woah. dude has it been long
i gotta post a blog hahahahaha.
sorry havent been on in a while.
just.. so much stuff has been going on.
EVEN IF ITS THE HOLIDAYSSSSSS.
i mean. its fun
but so much stress
hahahahahah xD
boys, friends, you know. all that type of teenager stuff xD
i think i said that in my last post.
..
hahah anywayyy
i know, that i will come through =D
im trying not to play rough HAHAH.
if that makes any sense.
just trying to avoid worst case senarios.
stuff ive heard. stuff ive experienced.
it'll all be alright =D
waiting. for school
next term is gonna be so big =D
like.. we got..
FREE LAPTOPS =D
and..
more school
new subjectsss =D
hopefully with my friends hahahahaha.
im excited thoughh =D
gotta get back on a roll hahahaha.
cant wait. =)
gonna be good..
to those who care.
to those who i have disappointed.
im sorry. but this is not reason to spread things about me
which would have applied to me maybe last year.
things change. people change.
i guess we dont all realise that.
in our school, and in our circle of friends..
things spread. ruining someone's reputation.
i mean, i dont care. but i do care about what people, and my friends, see me as.
how they see me as a person. coz like.. i see people as i think i should judge them.
not how other people tell me to =D
ANYWAYY.
onn with life..
hahahah xD
EXCITEDDDDD.
=D
God is good.
life is good.
God is awesome =D
he loves me =)
xo.
i gotta post a blog hahahahaha.
sorry havent been on in a while.
just.. so much stuff has been going on.
EVEN IF ITS THE HOLIDAYSSSSSS.
i mean. its fun
but so much stress
hahahahahah xD
boys, friends, you know. all that type of teenager stuff xD
i think i said that in my last post.
..
hahah anywayyy
i know, that i will come through =D
im trying not to play rough HAHAH.
if that makes any sense.
just trying to avoid worst case senarios.
stuff ive heard. stuff ive experienced.
it'll all be alright =D
waiting. for school
next term is gonna be so big =D
like.. we got..
FREE LAPTOPS =D
and..
more school
new subjectsss =D
hopefully with my friends hahahahaha.
im excited thoughh =D
gotta get back on a roll hahahaha.
cant wait. =)
gonna be good..
to those who care.
to those who i have disappointed.
im sorry. but this is not reason to spread things about me
which would have applied to me maybe last year.
things change. people change.
i guess we dont all realise that.
in our school, and in our circle of friends..
things spread. ruining someone's reputation.
i mean, i dont care. but i do care about what people, and my friends, see me as.
how they see me as a person. coz like.. i see people as i think i should judge them.
not how other people tell me to =D
ANYWAYY.
onn with life..
hahahah xD
EXCITEDDDDD.
=D
God is good.
life is good.
God is awesome =D
he loves me =)
xo.
3.7.09
3.7.09
..sorry =)
yeahh uhmm this is a more.. normal post.
hopefully =)
i just needed to get all that stuff outta my system
you know how i made that resolution about being more confident?
it worked.
then it didnt.
im still aiming for it.
once i got all that stuff out.
it was like..
WOAH.
THANKS GOD =)
feel much better.
although i know that once i relise how much freeking homework i have..
hahahahah =)
its gnna distract me from my personal life again.
i think thats what happened.
i got so caught up in school work
and i was in the middle of getting better.
i just.. lost it.
ill make it =)
so much hormonal stuff as well
i mean .. 0-o
iono hahahahahaha.
crushes and whatnot.
its stupid.
but yeahh =)
as chrystal says.
you cant help it.
i know ill get over it hahaha =)
pretty much impossible.
but.
yes.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
=)
ill try not to hide all my sadness.
but then again you dont want to depress everyone around you yeahh?
ahhahahhaha.
God is good =)
yeahh uhmm this is a more.. normal post.
hopefully =)
i just needed to get all that stuff outta my system
you know how i made that resolution about being more confident?
it worked.
then it didnt.
im still aiming for it.
once i got all that stuff out.
it was like..
WOAH.
THANKS GOD =)
feel much better.
although i know that once i relise how much freeking homework i have..
hahahahah =)
its gnna distract me from my personal life again.
i think thats what happened.
i got so caught up in school work
and i was in the middle of getting better.
i just.. lost it.
ill make it =)
so much hormonal stuff as well
i mean .. 0-o
iono hahahahahaha.
crushes and whatnot.
its stupid.
but yeahh =)
as chrystal says.
you cant help it.
i know ill get over it hahaha =)
pretty much impossible.
but.
yes.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
=)
ill try not to hide all my sadness.
but then again you dont want to depress everyone around you yeahh?
ahhahahhaha.
God is good =)
3.7.09
okayy. before you start reading.. this may turn
out to be pretty depressing loll =)
but you know. there's always a silver lining.
i havent blogged in a while.
im actually pretty busy. i guess i've half enjoyed it
all these distractions have .. distracted 0-o me from..
what has been happening around me.
i mean, not as in politically around me.
more like.. my emotions and what not.
a few blogs ago hahaha blogs ago..
0-o
yeahh anywayy..
before, a while back, i was getting more confident,
more sure of myself.
it always seems that everytime you get back up on your feet..
everything seems to crash right down again.
i used to forget about all the things i didnt have,
and concentrate on the things that i did have.
it was all good.
until things started happening.
it wasnt anything that you would notice..
it was the things that I notice.
i know if i wrote it down here,
you would be thinking, ahh thats not that bad,
you'll live. but thats what i thought at first.
it was like.. people we unconciously and continuously
reminding me of all the things that had made me feel like poo.
they didnt realise, i didnt realise, well..
i did. but i thought that if i just ignored it,
and moved on.. it'll all be alright again.
i was alright for a while.. but i guess..
it all just built up and it was too much to deny.
if i had the perfect life.. it would be too boring.
but the life i have now is so hard.
i know i can live through it with God.
and i wont give in.
when they showed the girl that commited suicide in motivational media..
i thought of myself.
but then i was like..
NO. I DONT HAVE DEPRESSION! =(
im fine.
i have God.
and he's protecting me.
i have no reason to be depressed.
i have the most lovely family! most of the time..
i have supportive friends.
but.. when i try to discuss it with people..
i guess.. they dont take what im saying right,
or i cant explain it..
or.. they think im joking,
or they make a joke of it.
i wish i had someone to tkae me seriously,
and help me through it.
i know im not depressed.
im just going through a stage.
i know there is God.
and im waiting for his reply.
tonight, when i sleep.
all i'll think about is God.
and how much he loves me.
just to know that God loves me is amazing.
someone so big and so powerful
he cares about me.
this... person that thinks she's not much
he thinks she's everything.
the thing is..
i know all the facts.
i know that im not the ugliest person
i know that im not the dumbest.
i know that people love me
i know that im worth something.
yet. when i think about people that i hardly know
and how i think they see me
its like.. iono.
i just want someone that i hardly know to see me as something special.
i know its never going to be like in the movies.
i guess my standards are too high.
but.. theres always that little thing that you hope for.
Thankyou God.
Thankyou for your love.
thankyou that you gave me so many people that love me.
thankyou for my life.
thankyou for my health.
thankyou for you.
I love you.
forever.
xo.
out to be pretty depressing loll =)
but you know. there's always a silver lining.
i havent blogged in a while.
im actually pretty busy. i guess i've half enjoyed it
all these distractions have .. distracted 0-o me from..
what has been happening around me.
i mean, not as in politically around me.
more like.. my emotions and what not.
a few blogs ago hahaha blogs ago..
0-o
yeahh anywayy..
before, a while back, i was getting more confident,
more sure of myself.
it always seems that everytime you get back up on your feet..
everything seems to crash right down again.
i used to forget about all the things i didnt have,
and concentrate on the things that i did have.
it was all good.
until things started happening.
it wasnt anything that you would notice..
it was the things that I notice.
i know if i wrote it down here,
you would be thinking, ahh thats not that bad,
you'll live. but thats what i thought at first.
it was like.. people we unconciously and continuously
reminding me of all the things that had made me feel like poo.
they didnt realise, i didnt realise, well..
i did. but i thought that if i just ignored it,
and moved on.. it'll all be alright again.
i was alright for a while.. but i guess..
it all just built up and it was too much to deny.
if i had the perfect life.. it would be too boring.
but the life i have now is so hard.
i know i can live through it with God.
and i wont give in.
when they showed the girl that commited suicide in motivational media..
i thought of myself.
but then i was like..
NO. I DONT HAVE DEPRESSION! =(
im fine.
i have God.
and he's protecting me.
i have no reason to be depressed.
i have the most lovely family! most of the time..
i have supportive friends.
but.. when i try to discuss it with people..
i guess.. they dont take what im saying right,
or i cant explain it..
or.. they think im joking,
or they make a joke of it.
i wish i had someone to tkae me seriously,
and help me through it.
i know im not depressed.
im just going through a stage.
i know there is God.
and im waiting for his reply.
tonight, when i sleep.
all i'll think about is God.
and how much he loves me.
just to know that God loves me is amazing.
someone so big and so powerful
he cares about me.
this... person that thinks she's not much
he thinks she's everything.
the thing is..
i know all the facts.
i know that im not the ugliest person
i know that im not the dumbest.
i know that people love me
i know that im worth something.
yet. when i think about people that i hardly know
and how i think they see me
its like.. iono.
i just want someone that i hardly know to see me as something special.
i know its never going to be like in the movies.
i guess my standards are too high.
but.. theres always that little thing that you hope for.
Thankyou God.
Thankyou for your love.
thankyou that you gave me so many people that love me.
thankyou for my life.
thankyou for my health.
thankyou for you.
I love you.
forever.
xo.
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